Dream

May. 21st, 2006 02:18 am
twirlgrrl: (Default)
[personal profile] twirlgrrl
Friday night I had a crazy, vivid dream. First I "heard" a series of very loud booms in my sleep--I thought it was thunder, but then it sounded maybe a bit like distant carpet-bombing. I woke up and came into the office to ask Evan if he heard it too; it was so real. But he said no. So I went back to sleep. Then I dreamed that I woke up to a strange silence but for the sound of lapping water. I went out to my window and saw that the entire Sunset district was underwater and the water was swirling up to my front doorstep (which had turned around and was facing the ocean.) The tidal wave had just come in and the water was still greenish/blue. I held my breath and watched to see if the wave would swallow our house or collapse it, but neither of those things happened--it swelled up to our second step and then started to recede. There was this intense quiet; everything that usually makes noise in my neighborhood was covered with water. The wave slowly receded and I could see houses with broken windows and cars lying on their sides in the streets, but no people at all. Evan and I went outside the house to look around at the foundation and the yard. Everything was dripping but there seemed to be no major damage. I started thinking about what we should do if there was another wave--should we try to escape to higher ground? Would the wave be larger the second time? What caused it--did terrorists bomb the ocean to create the wave (the booms I heard in my earlier dream) or was there a huge tectonic plate shift? Then I saw another huge wave rise up at the beach and start to break. The water rose again, brown and muddy this time. I grabbed Blue and we raced to a Twin Peaks-like area (in real life this is a 3/4-mile drive through a valley and back up, but we just ran up the hill in my dream) and stood in the parking lot with a bunch of other people, observing the wave with binoculars like regular tourists. The wave didn't come close to us, so I let Blue wander around the parking lot and followed him around for a bit while the water swirled below. I had been feeling a bit detached, other than the fear about the next wave coming, but now I started to think about the people we knew who might have been caught in the wave. I couldn't really even begin to think about the larger tragedy, the thousands of people who must have died, but I was aware of my avoidance. Evan's dad lives on a mountain in Marin, so he was probably OK. Evan's mom lives up in the Oakland hills, so she was probably OK. But then I thought of some friends who live on lower ground, and it occurred to me that the whole Bay would be affected, not just the western shoreline, and I could clearly imagine the water flowing into the bay, and I started to freak out... then I woke up, feeling terribly disoriented and scared.

Late last night at work, I actually googled for geologic maps of our neighborhood to determine our elevation and then the likely maximum height of a tsunami. We rent a little house very near the top of a hill overlooking the entire Sunset district, which is the westernmost edge of San Francisco. We are about 2.5 miles from the beach, and we can see the shoreline from our living room window. I've often joked that if a tsunami rolled in we would have a great view of the destruction as it happened. So the dream was payback for those comments, I guess. Anyway, it turns out that we are about 650 feet above sea level, and a "regular" tsunami wouldn't even come close to our elevation. But of course, that hasn't quelled my irrational fear. Some of my fear is rational, of course--our particular stretch of coastline is as vulnerable to a tsunami as anywhere. But the irrational part--of a freakishly huge tsunami, or of natural disasters in general when my chances of dying in a car accident blah blah blah--cannot be quieted with fact. This is probably partially due to my morbid fixation/fascination that started around the time of my father's death. And another part is surely due to being raised with apocalyptic beliefs. At the time of the end of the world as we know it, I was taught (and still believe) that natural disasters will be increasingly worse and more frequent. I think that belief is harder to live with now that I have a child who I want to protect from every potential harm on the planet.

On a practical note, we need to do some serious earthquake-proofing. I mean really.

Anyway, it was a crazy dream. I'm still jumpy from it.

Date: 2006-05-21 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathykat.livejournal.com
what morbid fixation/fascination?

Date: 2006-05-22 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com
I explained this IRL today, I hope well enough! Thanks again SO MUCH for coming over today, it was most wonderful and I feel a million times better. *hugs*

Date: 2006-05-21 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kinky-bri.livejournal.com
if it makes you feel any better I have always had some weird paranoia with weather and natural disasters.
I swear, my parents still tease me to this day because when we used to live in Texas I was around 10 at the time and whenever we'd get a storm - mild or bad, I would watch the weather channel for HOURS. I was TERIFFIED of tonados. Then we moved back to Cali and my biggest fear was of Tsunamis. I know they are unlikely or whatever but they still make me nervous =P
And earthquakes have always shook me up (no pun intended)
I remember my first earthquake experience as a little girl, I REFUSED to walk on the ground for weeks. My mom had to carry me around and then set me on a chair when she needed to do something. I wouldn't do it. I didn't understand why the hell my house was shaking so bad!


i dunno. I just wish there was some perfect place without thunderstorms, tornados, tsunamis, hurricanes, etc that I could move to =P

but snow is okay in my book!

Oh and on a completely unrelated note - that's cool how you can remember your dreams like that! I will usually remember a few details when I first wake up and go "Wtf was that a dream?" But then as soon as I get up to go to the bathroom or whatever I usually forget it.
I wish I could remember my dreams in more detail =(

Date: 2006-05-22 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com
Yeah, earthquakes are the WORST, I am so completely paranoid of them, that's the only time I truly panic. I went through some big ones growing up in California--there was a huge one in Sylmar when I was very young, long before you were born--and it really messes with your head to go through that as a kid. Were you around for the Northridge quake?

Date: 2006-05-22 08:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kinky-bri.livejournal.com
I don't remember the particular name of the big one I went through
but I was living here and it was in 1995. I heard it was pretty bad.
I remember it being pretty bad
I felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest!
It's pretty scary to experience when you are little and don't understand what it is
Even now I have a hard time, even if they are small, I still get panicy.

What year was the Northridge quake?

Date: 2006-05-22 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com
It was 1/17/94. My friend lost his condo in that one. It was a 6.7--gnarly. There are some interesting pictures of some of the damage in Simi Valley among other places at this page:

http://www.data.scec.org/chrono_index/northreq.html

There were a couple decent ones in the LA area in 1995 that I can find--a 4.9 on 6/16/05 in the inland empire area, and a 5.2 on 6/12/05 also centered somewhere in the southeast desert area. Maybe the one you remember was one of those.

OK, I'm a freak, I need to stop googling scary earthquake stuff and get back to work.

Date: 2006-05-22 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kinky-bri.livejournal.com
The one I was in may have been that one then, it was in 1994 or 1995 but I remember it was late late at night when it happened, and a couple hours after it hit the sun started coming up. (I couldn't get back to sleep for the life of me) But I'll have to ask my mom to be sure

Simi Valley is like 10 - 15 minutes away from my house =D


haha I refuse to read about earthquakes now. Too many theories and guesses about when "the big one" is going to happen. *shudders*

Date: 2006-05-22 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com
The Northridge one was probably it then, it was at 4:30am. I was up here in SF by then so I didn't feel it, yay!!! :P

Date: 2006-05-22 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kinky-bri.livejournal.com
your lucky =P
I remember right before the big one that scared the crap out of me there were a few small ones, then I got woke up in the middle of the night to my house shaking and dolls from the shelf above my bed falling on me, and my dad running in me room, grabbing me, and taking me back into his room with me and my mom, where I cried for about 2 hours and was shaking uncontrollably.

lol maybe this explains some of the issues I have now.
but if the Northridge one affected Simi that bad, I'm sure I felt that cause I lived in Newbury Park in 94


bleh, earthquakes x.x

Date: 2006-05-21 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjalie.livejournal.com
aww I have had really intense dreams like tha before but they usually happen to me when im going through a lot.
i wonder if it would make you feel better if you could teach yourself to lucid dream. My mom told me when I was little that if I focused hard enough that I would be able to control my dreams. A few years later I started to be able to do it. It really comes in handy for dreams like that where I can make up any solution to fix the situation in my dream.

Date: 2006-05-22 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com
Evan was really into learning to do that for a while. Our Yahoo account is signed up to a lucid dreams group so I could always browse the messages there. Thanks.

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