Ephemeral vs. Eternal

[twirlgrrl]

I wrote this in a comment to one of my LJ friends and decided I like enough to make it a post. Slightly edited for context.

I've been thinking lately about the fact that, despite being pretty much an open book, there are things that I don't want to put online. LJ can be relatively private with filters, but at the end of the day it's online, and it can last forever. Electronic information is so weird--at once ephemeral and eternal. My digital pictures are a good example--when I took real pictures with a real film camera, every picture was precious, and I have them all boxed up in real time and space. I know they will eventually degrade, but they feel much more permanent than the digital pictures I have on my hard drive. My digital pictures are at the mercy of my computer's hardiness, and vulnerable to my backup whims. But at the same time, I've sent hundreds of them out to other people, and stashed tons on various websites, so in a way they are more accessible and enduring than my paper pix.

OK... so... what?

Oh yeah.

I would love to be able to confide certain things to my LJ crew, or some of them. But if I put it on LJ, it stays there unless I remember to delete it later. Personal email to trusted real-life friends goes to another level for me. Then again, there are certain things I won't even put in an email, or say on the phone.

I guess some things are meant for face-to-face discussions only. Whispered. In the dark. Over wine. And who has time for moments like those anymore?

Comments

I wish we did...

[hallsl.livejournal.com]

but, ya know, somehow I'm glad that the oh-so-brave new world we live in hasn't really vanquished the need for real human contact, real trust, real vulnerability, real love.

But I do wish that we had time and a transporter... I'd bring the wine.

Re: I wish we did...

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

ME TOO!!!

The wine would probably give me a headache, but it's such a metaphor for letting one's hair down in the company of friends.

[kathykat.livejournal.com]

hey man,,,,I had called you last nite with the intention of confiding a whole bunch of personal shit.

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

I could tell by the tone of your voice!

I'll try to call soon. Working in Santa Cruz this weekend.

[tellinellen.livejournal.com]

now i feel all kool, i'm anonymously famous in your lj. :)

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, yr funny! But you sure do have me curious now... I'm a very curious girl. And open-minded. :=)

[tellinellen.livejournal.com]

don't worry - i know that you are and is totally kept in my mind....

do you think it is appropriate to make a filtered post saying "hey, this is the blah blah filter, here's why you're in it, do you want in?" and then writing stuff later? on one hand it gives people the option to opt out on the other hand it's kind of like "pay attention to me you must komment to be blessed with my seeeekrets!!!!"

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

OMG, I did that sort of thing, like TWICE, and no one said what I hoped they'd say... so I don't know. You've answered your own question already anyway. :-)

[tellinellen.livejournal.com]

oh no!

yeah, i kouldn't wait.

what did people say when you did it?

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Bleah, they said NOTHING. I was hoping someone would pipe up and say "Keep me off your dirty whorish filter!" I think I just wanted an excuse to exclude some people, KWIM? No such luck.