PMS

[twirlgrrl]

For the last few months, I've had the most crushing PMS (only for a few days each month, obviously.) Not physically, just emotionally. I get overwhelmed by these crazy feelings of loss and doom and terror and despair. I'm normally quite even-keeled, so this is really throwing me off. I mean, those of you who know me in real life, how often do you suppose I would normally dissolve into crying jags? Like, never, right? So what's my problem lately?

Comments

[eac.livejournal.com]

can you try to keep track of what's happening when you get overwhelmed? Maybe there are triggers that you're unaware of...

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

I could try to pay attention to that, yes. I get overwhelmed all the time, though, but I don't FREAK OUT much... and when I do it's really weird and I get worried about what it means and whether I'm losing my ability to cope, and then I start my period and I go OHHHHHHH.

[eac.livejournal.com]

Could also actually be a new, different kind of change in hormones, I suppose.

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, and there are actually some other factors... but I'm not premenopausal yet, at least not by family history. Anyway. Hmph.

[ninjalie.livejournal.com]

aww I don't know why that's happening but *hugs* I hope you feel better.

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. What's new with you? You're not posting much and I'm filtered out of most of them anyway. :-)

[ninjalie.livejournal.com]

Hmm I don't really post at all these days, and I can think of very few if any posts that you have ever been filtered out of. Of course, unless you're talking about the fact that I made a bunch of my past entries private (someone unknown on my friends list seemed to be stalking me.) You don't have to worry about me hiding things from you anymore, there's really nothing left to conceal, and I trust you more now. Why do people always think I'm obfuscating? Yeah, I know I'm not always forthcoming but usually it's only when I feel backed into a corner or when it's deeply personal. I don't lie just to be deceptive or manipulative.

Anyway, I've been wanting to post but aside from the fact that I don't have a whole lot of interesting things to say, I also don't have the energy to compile them into something legible and entertaining.

Soo let's see, going to school, I dropped half of my classes because I passed the practice GED tests with outstanding scores. I got a perfect on the social studies WOOHOOO! My teacher says they usually reflect your score on the actual test as well. Today I mailed in paperwork so that I can have legal permission to take my GED. I failed my permit test the first time, it's so embarrassing that I've been avoiding taking it again because I will be mortified if I fail twice. If I can't pass a permit test how am I ever going to make the deans list or get into a good University, much less pull off 4.0's?!

I'm trying to wake myself up so that I can do my homework and study my kana/kanji before bed. I'm pretty much literate in Hiragana aside from characters here and there that I have a tough time assimilating into my Japanese knowledge. Katakana is proving to be tougher, but if I keep using it and practicing I'll eventually get it. Kanji is wayyy hard and I think I'm going to have to have a much broader vocabulary before I will be familiar enough with the first 80 to pass the 4th level JLPT.

This is such a long comment it should be its own entry, but since you know me better than most people on my LJ it will remain a comment. I'm getting glasses this month, I really need them my vision SUCKS. I am also getting braces i've had two appointments already and we are hoping to have procured the down payment by Jan so that I can have my first set of braces put on. :D

I want to take the Japanese courses offered at my school but they're each 5 credits and that's probably around 6-700 dollars for an out of state resident. I'm really hoping that I can get a lot of money from financial aid. I'm a little freaked out but either way by August of next year it should all be manageable.

So that's my life, keep in touch!
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[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm not worried! I don't think that I necessarily have the right to read everything you write! I just notice when the archive calendar doesn't match up to my friends view. No biggie. I post private entries and filtered entries too.

I'm really glad you trust me though. Please don't take what I said about being filtered out as an accusation. Really, I didn't mean that at all. I meant it in a totally matter-of-fact way. I assumed that you write private stuff (maybe about A) that you feel more comfortable keeping to a smaller group, and I have no interest or investment in crossing that sort of boundary.

I feel the same way lately about not having time and energy to post properly. Bleh.

All that aside, thanks for a lovely comment/update! I'm so excited that you're getting ready to take the GED and move on to the next phase. That's a happy ending to the high school chapter of life for sure. And congratulations on your achievements in Japanese! That is SO cool!! And very impressive.

You're getting glasses AND braces? Do you need braces, I mean like for a malocclusion issue, or are they for cosmetic reasons? I know you don't like the way your teeth fit but honestly I think they give you character. Or more like enhance your already-inborn character, kindof a little bit of a snarl in that sweet smile. :-) Anyway, I hope they go gentle on you. I had braces for 6 years and it was kindof an owie experience.

Thanks again for this update; it made me really happy.

[ninjalie.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I kind of like talking to you about it now that I'm older. So don't worry ^_^ I have the glasses now, and I'm getting the braces put on in Jan. I need the braces for both cosmetic and dental reasons. Because my canines don't touch down I can't use them and it's wearing my back teeth.

A added you, I think he wants to make peace.