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twirlgrrlI hate how LJ emphasizes my interpersonal neuroses.
When I started friending people I jumped right in and commented on everyone's entries, all the time. But as I read more and more posts in communities, I saw comments about "stalkers" and didn't want to be perceived as one. So I got a little more reserved, both with adding new friends and with commenting.
Since then, I've gone through various phases of LJ interpersonal terror. I wonder if any of these will sound familiar to any of you--you know, you, readers, friends list, the ones who are supposedly reading this?
-Fear that I was commenting too much
-Fear that I was commenting too little
-Fear that I comment on every single entry in a person's LJ, thus coming across as stalkerish
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they didn't reply to my comment
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they NEVER reply to ANY of my comments
-Fear that I comment too much on tellinellen's LJ, since she kindly replies to EVERY COMMENT SHE RECEIVES, so I'm making work for her when I comment
-Fear that my entire friends list hates me because I don't get enough comments
-Fear that I'll start writing entries specifically to elicit comments
-Fear that no one reads my entries because I post at the wrong time of day/night
And on and on.
This is so funny to me, because in real life I am quite sociable and I don't stress about my relationships much at all. I wonder why LJ brings this out in me? Maybe because it's in writing?
I know that I love reading other LJs--I need to go back and read several of my friends from the beginning, in fact--and I do love to comment. And of course, part of the reason I participate in LJ rather than just journaling on my very own hard drive is to be part of the larger community, to build connections. It's like a giant, slow-motion discussion/support group.
The other day I was contemplating this commenting issue and I decided to throw caution to the wind. I decided to comment as much as I wanted, and if that meant commenting on every single post I read, then so be it. Well, that has lasted less than two days. No one is replying to my comments! (Except you, tellinellen, you're a paragon of replying.) No one is commenting to me! Forget the fact that I haven't even posted since I started this comment renaissance. I'm withdrawing from the comment renaissance. I am going back to comment hermithood.
As if I could ever shut up. :-)
When I started friending people I jumped right in and commented on everyone's entries, all the time. But as I read more and more posts in communities, I saw comments about "stalkers" and didn't want to be perceived as one. So I got a little more reserved, both with adding new friends and with commenting.
Since then, I've gone through various phases of LJ interpersonal terror. I wonder if any of these will sound familiar to any of you--you know, you, readers, friends list, the ones who are supposedly reading this?
-Fear that I was commenting too much
-Fear that I was commenting too little
-Fear that I comment on every single entry in a person's LJ, thus coming across as stalkerish
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they didn't reply to my comment
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they NEVER reply to ANY of my comments
-Fear that I comment too much on tellinellen's LJ, since she kindly replies to EVERY COMMENT SHE RECEIVES, so I'm making work for her when I comment
-Fear that my entire friends list hates me because I don't get enough comments
-Fear that I'll start writing entries specifically to elicit comments
-Fear that no one reads my entries because I post at the wrong time of day/night
And on and on.
This is so funny to me, because in real life I am quite sociable and I don't stress about my relationships much at all. I wonder why LJ brings this out in me? Maybe because it's in writing?
I know that I love reading other LJs--I need to go back and read several of my friends from the beginning, in fact--and I do love to comment. And of course, part of the reason I participate in LJ rather than just journaling on my very own hard drive is to be part of the larger community, to build connections. It's like a giant, slow-motion discussion/support group.
The other day I was contemplating this commenting issue and I decided to throw caution to the wind. I decided to comment as much as I wanted, and if that meant commenting on every single post I read, then so be it. Well, that has lasted less than two days. No one is replying to my comments! (Except you, tellinellen, you're a paragon of replying.) No one is commenting to me! Forget the fact that I haven't even posted since I started this comment renaissance. I'm withdrawing from the comment renaissance. I am going back to comment hermithood.
As if I could ever shut up. :-)
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Re: Ummm, I'm mostly verrrry shy about commenting
Date: 2006-11-03 07:46 am (UTC)I'm always thrilled when I get a comment from you, either here or on my email. I feel like we communicate more because of LJ, even though we've been close for so long, we weren't available to talk much. So it's nice to feel connected to you more frequently. And I *always* want to read what you have to say.
I totally relate to feeling shy about not being cool enough to comment. I often feel like whatever I have to say isn't as important as I imagine... in fact it's so trivial and everyone knows it already, why not just delete it? LOL. Try participating in communities, with all these 20-something sharpies just looking for someone to snark. I'm generally outside their baiting range, but still. There is a highschool popularity contest element to many LJ communities, largely due to the dominant demographic I guess, and it's entertaining to watch the action (at least it is to me, which is why I track some snark and debate communities on my 2 major LJs) but I am not a participant.
Anyway. Yep, neurotic, that's all of us! Thanks for being here with me.
Love you too!
Re: Ummm, I'm mostly verrrry shy about commenting
Date: 2006-11-03 07:47 am (UTC)Re: Ummm, I'm mostly verrrry shy about commenting
Date: 2006-11-03 07:47 am (UTC)