twirlgrrl | Comments

I hate how LJ emphasizes my interpersonal neuroses.

When I started friending people I jumped right in and commented on everyone's entries, all the time. But as I read more and more posts in communities, I saw comments about "stalkers" and didn't want to be perceived as one. So I got a little more reserved, both with adding new friends and with commenting.

Since then, I've gone through various phases of LJ interpersonal terror. I wonder if any of these will sound familiar to any of you--you know, you, readers, friends list, the ones who are supposedly reading this?

-Fear that I was commenting too much
-Fear that I was commenting too little
-Fear that I comment on every single entry in a person's LJ, thus coming across as stalkerish
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they didn't reply to my comment
-Fear that a friend secretly hates me because they NEVER reply to ANY of my comments
-Fear that I comment too much on tellinellen's LJ, since she kindly replies to EVERY COMMENT SHE RECEIVES, so I'm making work for her when I comment
-Fear that my entire friends list hates me because I don't get enough comments
-Fear that I'll start writing entries specifically to elicit comments
-Fear that no one reads my entries because I post at the wrong time of day/night

And on and on.

This is so funny to me, because in real life I am quite sociable and I don't stress about my relationships much at all. I wonder why LJ brings this out in me? Maybe because it's in writing?

I know that I love reading other LJs--I need to go back and read several of my friends from the beginning, in fact--and I do love to comment. And of course, part of the reason I participate in LJ rather than just journaling on my very own hard drive is to be part of the larger community, to build connections. It's like a giant, slow-motion discussion/support group.

The other day I was contemplating this commenting issue and I decided to throw caution to the wind. I decided to comment as much as I wanted, and if that meant commenting on every single post I read, then so be it. Well, that has lasted less than two days. No one is replying to my comments! (Except you, tellinellen, you're a paragon of replying.) No one is commenting to me! Forget the fact that I haven't even posted since I started this comment renaissance. I'm withdrawing from the comment renaissance. I am going back to comment hermithood.

As if I could ever shut up. :-)